AA Prayer (Serenity Prayer): Meaning, How to Use It in Recovery + AA Step Prayers

What you will learn

• Full Text and Meaning: You will learn the full text and deep meaning behind the Serenity Prayer to provide grounding and perspective.
• Real-World Application: We provide a line-by-line breakdown to help you apply these principles to real-world triggers and everyday challenges.
• Complete Step Prayer List: You will find a complete list of AA step prayers for each stage of the recovery process.
• Non-Religious Guidance: We offer practical advice on using these tools, even if you do not consider yourself religious.
• The Pause Button Method: This piece includes a "pause button" method for using prayer to stop a potential relapse or emotional spiral.

The Serenity Prayer is an AA prayer that provides grounding and perspective for people in recovery. Although many people in recovery recite the Serenity Prayer at the beginning or end of their meetings, the Serenity Prayer is meant to be used all day long by anyone who is trying to deal with life’s challenges without drinking or using drugs.

Is It Ok to Use It as a Non-Religious Tool?

If you don’t consider yourself religious, it’s still possible to apply this tool to your recovery journey. Many individuals who are in a recovered state use the Serenity Prayer as a secular mantra or a way to psychologically “reset” themselves. You can visualize the object of your prayer as “God,” “the universe,” “your own higher power,” “the collective wisdom of your recovery group,” or any definition of your own inner best self. Unlike some prayers, this particular prayer’s strength lies in its ability to provide you with acceptance and action; that is to say, it doesn’t reside in any particular religious dogma.

What is an AA Serenity Prayer?

Although it is often attributed to St. Francis of Assisi, the Serenity Prayer was probably the first and most popular invocation in the recovery world. It was created by Reinhold Niebuhr, a theologian, in the 1930s, but was quickly adopted by Alcoholics Anonymous because it articulated so well the principles of the 12 steps.[1]

The brief version of the prayer is:

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; And wisdom to know the difference. Amen.”

The long version of the prayer is:

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, accepting hardships as the pathway to peace. Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him forever and ever in the next. Amen.”

How Did the Serenity Prayer Come to Be Known as the AA Prayer?

In 1940, an AA member in New York saw an obituary for a man from Michigan that featured the wording of “the Serenity Prayer,” so they printed card copies of the prayer and distributed them to other early AA members. Millions of individuals have since downloaded and printed out copies of this card so that they can have an easily accessible reminder of the “pause button” so they can become reacquainted with their recovery goals by taking a moment to pause during times of distress and rediscover their higher power through prayer.

Core Concepts of Remembering the Serenity Prayer

To be truly clear about what the AA Prayer represents to each recovering individual, we must examine three themes of the Serenity Prayer:

Serenity

“The peace that I receive through faith in God comes from my ability to accept the things that are not in my power. Therefore, I am not going to get angry or resentful about things I cannot change.” In recovery, this often refers to the past, other people’s opinions, and the fact that we cannot safely use substances.

Courage

“Even though I cannot control people who are in my life or situations that have been created by the events of my life, I must continue to find strength through the power that I have through the teachings of the 12 steps in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous.” While you cannot change the past, you can change your behavior today, such as calling a sponsor or being honest about your feelings.

Wisdom

“I’ve learned that if I do not take action within ten minutes, then I need to make sure that I continue to strive to find my serenity. If I lose my serenity, then I cannot make any progress in my recovery, nor will I continue to find my courage to take action.”

Example of How to Use It in Real Life (Pause Button)

Whenever you experience a trigger during your recovery, you need to change your focus from an external trigger to your own awareness by saying “the Serenity Prayer,” so you can take some time to remember why you are in recovery, and find peace and move forward out of your trigger. When reciting the Serenity Prayer, it is helpful to remember the concepts that are important to you as you work to maintain your recovery.

For example, consider the way you wake up each morning; it sets the tone for the rest of your day—wake up and recite the prayer so that you refer to it whenever you feel out of control or anxious. Then, remember how you feel throughout the day: when you find yourself worrying about a situation, think back to the words of the Serenity Prayer to remind yourself of how you can change things that are bothering you—to start living the Serenity Prayer.

Scenarios You Can Turn to for Practicing on a Daily Basis:

AA Step Prayers

While the Serenity Prayer is universal, many members use specific AA step prayers to focus on the work required for each stage.

First Step Prayer: Powerlessness

Prayer: “I admit I am powerless over my addiction. I admit my life is unmanageable when I try to control it. Help me understand the true meaning of powerlessness.”

When it’s used: When you feel you can “handle” a drink or when you are trying to control everyone around you.

You can try this: Say this prayer while looking in the mirror to reinforce your honesty.

Second Step Prayer: Hope

Prayer: “I want to be sane, and I know that You are the only One who can do it. I have humbled myself before You, and I am prepared to follow Your lead, so show me how.”

When it’s used: When you feel hopeless and or lost.

You can try this: List three things that make you feel good about the future.

Third Step Prayer: Surrender

Prayer: “I will give myself completely to You, use me however it pleases You, free me from self to serve You better.”

When it’s used: When you feel like you are struggling with your ego and your will.

You can try this: Imagine handing your higher power your backpack (all your problems).

Fourth Step Prayer: Inventory

Prayer: “Dear God, I am responsible for my life’s mess. I cannot fix it myself; my mistakes belong to me, and I ask You for strength to complete a thorough and fearless inventory.”

When it’s used: Prior to starting your 4th step list.

You can try this: Set a timer for 20 minutes and write whatever comes to mind without interruption after saying the prayer.

Fifth Step Prayer: To Admit

Prayer: “My higher power helped me see who I am through my 4th step inventory, and I seek Your support in admitting my wrongs to another person and to You. Please help me through this step.”

When it’s used: On the way to meet your sponsor for your 5th step.

You can try this: Take a deep breath, repeat to yourself, “We are only as sick as our secrets.”

Sixth Step Prayer: Readiness

Prayer: “Dear God, I am willing for You to take all of me, both good and bad; I ask You to remove every defect of character that hinders my usefulness to You and other people.”

When it’s used: When you recognize a particular character flaw (like being angry or gossiping) that is inhibiting your recovery.

You can try this: Pick one character defect from which you are ready to let go today.

Seventh Step Prayer: Humility

Prayer: “Creator, I want to give to You all of me, the good and the bad. I pray for strength as I leave this place to follow your direction.”

When to use: As a morning prayer for a reminder that we do not have to strive for perfection, but should only desire to be willing.

Try this: Perform one unknown act of kindness for someone.

Eighth Step Prayer: Willingness

Prayer: “My higher power, please help me identify who I have harmed, as I will take accountability for my actions and show others that I am as forgiving to my errors as You have been toward me.”

When to use: When you have resistance to naming someone on your amends list.

Try this: Put your name at the top of your amends list if you haven’t yet forgiven yourself.

Nine Step Prayer: Amends

Prayer: “I pray for the right attitude toward my amends. I ask for your guidance regarding any indirect amends and how to treat them with sensitivity and kindness.”

When to use: Immediately prior to making a tough call or confronting someone face-to-face.

Try this: Regardless of what may happen, try to “sweep” (address) your side of things.

Tenth Step Prayer: Maintaining

Prayer: “As I grow to understand and accomplish daily improvement, I will continue to evaluate my daily check of myself and correct my mistakes as I become aware of them.”

When to use: At any time during your day that you feel a trigger (like “resentment”) or fear building.

Try this: Conduct a second 2-minute spot check at the lunch hour to see if you owe someone an apology.

Eleventh Step Prayer: Connection

Prayer: “Higher power, as You were, as You are; still with me. I want to keep my spiritual connection with You, free from the chaos of daily life. I pray that I may know your thoughts and direct my actions toward positive purposes.”

When it’s used: During your scheduled quiet time or daily meditation time.

You can try this: After five minutes of silence following this prayer, just sit and listen.

Twelfth Step Prayer: Service

Prayer: “Dear God, the continuation of my awakening continues to reveal new possibilities. The assistance I have received, I will continue to pass on to others. Please provide me with the strength to implement these principles in all of my affairs.”

When it’s used: Just before walking into a meeting to meet a newcomer or going into a newcomer’s home.

Try this: Ask a newcomer how their day is going at the meeting.

Why AA Prayers Are Important

Recovering from addiction is more than stopping a physical act; it is changing how we perceive and experience our world. Each AA step and the Serenity Prayer are ways to solidify the principles of recovery through repetition.

Acceptance: By repeatedly requesting “serenity to accept” repeatedly, the brain is trained not to resist or fight the unchangeable circumstances of life, thus relieving the stress created by unanswered questions.

Humility: Prayer brings to our attention our lack of control and need to be humble; it is the counter-balance to ego-centered behaviors that can lead to relapse.

Stability: Having prayers (often referred to as “go-to” prayers) for each step creates continuity and consistency in our lives. Having this structure in the early stages of recovery can help with the chaos of life.

Spirituality vs. Religion

It is essential to remember that AA is a non-denominational spiritual program, which does not require you to adhere to any specific religious beliefs. Many members refer to their higher power as the “Group of Drunks” (G.O.D.), nature, the universe, or the principles of honesty and love.

Amanda is a prolific medical content writer specializing in eating disorders and addiction treatment. She graduated Magna Cum Laude from Purdue University with a B.S. in Social Work. Read more