What is an AA Sponsor? Understanding Recovery Sponsor Roles

What you will learn

• Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) sponsors are sober AA members who use their wisdom and experience to help newer members.
• Your sponsor will meet with you to provide support, accountability, and a broader perspective.
• It’s okay to change sponsors, but timing is critical.

Recovering from substance use disorder is rarely a journey you take alone if you want to be successful. Ideally, your support group is filled with family and friends who patiently encourage you to blow past milestones, celebrating with you after each victory.

But there’s something uniquely powerful about being guided by someone who has walked the exact same path that you’re on right now. It is the Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) sponsor that fulfills this pivotal role. Being supported by someone who not only understands but has actually lived through your struggles can make all the difference.

Understanding the Role of the AA Sponsor

What is an AA sponsor? In simplest terms, your sponsor is a sober, experienced member of Alcoholics Anonymous who has taken on the duty of guiding newcomers through the program.[1] They have completed the 12-step program themselves and are maintaining their sobriety.

Your sponsor is your personal contact within the program; they are your recovery mentor. They share their experiences, strengths, and struggles with you in ways that directly relate to your own experiences and struggles.

Though they form the backbone of AA’s peer support model, they do not take the place of licensed therapists or other mental health professionals. Instead, you can think of your sponsor as a trusted friend who is there to help you navigate sobriety with no judgment.

The Role and Responsibilities of an AA Sponsor

Guiding Through the 12 Steps

Your sponsor’s primary role is to make each of the 12 steps in the program as approachable and manageable as possible for you. As you grow in your relationship, your sponsor will adapt the way they share their wisdom and experiences to suit your character, life experience, and learning style.

Your sponsor will likely explain concepts like powerlessness and making amends, which are key tenets of the AA program. They will also share resources and practices that helped them when any given step felt too overwhelming or confusing.

Providing Accountability and Support

AA sponsorship is not about “checking off boxes” on a compliance sheet or getting the sponsee in trouble. However, this doesn’t mean your sponsor can’t promote self-accountability. Like a good coach, having a sponsor who ensures you’re consistently “training” (maintaining sobriety) can make the difference between relapsing and staying the course.

A sponsor provides a safe space to discuss your struggles with complete honesty and openness. When you share your struggles and formulate a plan to overcome them as a team, you feel obligated not only to yourself but also to your sponsor.

Sharing Experience and Wisdom

You may be surprised to hear that your sponsor struggled as hard or even more than you. They will share stories from their own recovery process, but not for the sake of trauma dumping.

The point is to extract the wisdom and practical action steps from these stories and apply them to your own situation in the same way your sponsor did to achieve sobriety. This experience-based guidance is incredibly valuable, forming a significant pillar of AA’s practical approach.

Being Available When Needed

A dedicated sponsor will make themselves (reasonably) available to answer your calls. They understand from experience that recovery crises tend not to occur during working hours. This ability to respond in real-time when you are at your most vulnerable is a priceless safety net.

However, it’s essential to understand that sponsors must maintain healthy boundaries at the same time. Relying too heavily on their support, including highly frequent phone calls, may have the opposite effect on your recovery program than you intended.

Why is Having a Sponsor Important?

Personalized Recovery Guidance

Recovery isn’t a one-size-fits-all experience, and sponsors understand this reality. They tailor their guidance to your unique circumstances, honing their approach as they get to know you better.

Generic advice from friends, family, and media may be well-intended, but it tends to fall short when you experience a crisis in recovery. An AA sponsor uses their more profound understanding of your situation and their own personal insights to provide more customized guidance.

Breaking Through Denial and Resistance

Newcomers to AA often struggle with denial. Sponsors know how to gently challenge the blind spots causing the denial with a compassionate approach.

This brings us to the importance of perspective. A key function of the AA sponsor is to clarify and broaden the sponsee’s perspective on their own motivations and behaviors, as well as identify the necessary changes.

Building Long-term Recovery Skills

Sponsors teach practical recovery skills that extend beyond those directly related to drinking. They help you develop healthy coping mechanisms, communication skills, and relationship patterns. A good sponsor will model these behaviors, providing a blueprint for what healthy sobriety looks like in its totality.

Building these foundational skills safeguards your recovery in the long term while empowering you to repair more of the damage caused by alcohol abuse.

Creating Meaningful Connection

Many people in AA experience isolation, often due to broken relationships. Sponsors provide an authentic and compassionate human connection, offering much-needed support. This relationship becomes meaningful for both people in different ways.

The sponsor-sponsee relationship creates accountability while encouraging personal growth. You’re not just being guided, but building a real friendship made to survive your substance use problems.[3]

Understanding What Sponsors Do and Don’t Do

What Sponsors Do

Sponsors guide the step work and generously share their personal experiences. They provide encouragement during difficult periods and celebrate milestones of recovery. Meanwhile, they offer practical suggestions for daily living challenges.

They help you understand the principles of AA literature. Even better, sponsors connect you with other recovery resources when appropriate.

What Sponsors Don’t Do

Sponsors aren’t professional counselors, financial advisors, or relationship therapists. They don’t provide medical advice or legal guidance. By the way, they shouldn’t attempt to control your life decisions.

Quality sponsors maintain appropriate boundaries while still being supportive and understanding. They guide without overstepping into areas requiring professional expertise.

Maintaining Healthy Boundaries

Both sponsors and sponsees need clear boundaries for successful relationships. Sponsors have their own recovery priorities and personal lives to attend to. Meanwhile, sponsees must take responsibility for their own recovery work.

Healthy sponsorship involves mutual respect and realistic expectations. Even better, clear boundaries actually strengthen the relationship over time.

Can You Change Sponsors?

Sometimes, sponsor relationships don’t work out despite good intentions. Personality conflicts can arise, or needs can change over time. By the way, this is entirely normal and acceptable in AA.

Geographic moves, schedule conflicts, or evolving recovery needs might necessitate change. In other words, changing sponsors doesn’t mean failure for either party.

How to Make the Transition

Handle sponsor changes with respect and gratitude. Express appreciation for their time and guidance. Meanwhile, be honest about why you’re making the change.

Most experienced sponsors understand that not every match works perfectly. Even better, many remain supportive friends even after the formal relationship ends.

Multiple Sponsors Throughout Recovery

Many people work with different sponsors at various stages of recovery. Early sobriety needs differ from those of long-term maintenance. This evolution is healthy and expected.

Each sponsor brings a unique perspective and strength to your journey. In other words, different guides serve different purposes as you grow.

Finding Your Path Forward

Recovery from substance use disorder requires courage, commitment, and community support. While the journey is ultimately yours to take, having a knowledgeable guide makes the path more transparent and more manageable.

What is an AA sponsor? They’re someone who’s traveled this road before you and wants to help light the way. Meanwhile, they offer the kind of understanding that only comes through shared experience.

Whether you’re just beginning recovery or recommitting after a setback, consider the profound impact a sponsor could have on your journey. The right mentor might be precisely what you need to build the sober life you deserve.

Recovery is possible, and you don’t have to do it alone. Take that first step toward finding the guidance and support that could transform your recovery experience.

Amanda is a prolific medical content writer specializing in eating disorders and addiction treatment. She graduated Magna Cum Laude from Purdue University with a B.S. in Social Work. Read more